The Banging Bird (and a Back-to-School Pondering for our Children)

As half of our brood graced the schools with their presence last Monday, it is slightly calmer here (aside from the youngest, loudest voice of the bunch wailing while the bus spit dust and left her behind: "I want my BOYS back!"). Thus, I'm able to hear beautiful sounds outside ... crickets chirping, birds humming, toads toading (or whatever toads do), and then, it's HIM AGAIN ... the banging bird. Yes, there is a banging bird on our window. He's been banging all summer long, so our children have grown accustomed to his routine. This bird is adamant about getting in to our house. I'm fairly certain this bird has lost his sense of hearing (and sanity), as it seems a sure bet he would not want 'in' if he could hear how loud and chaotic it is 'in' here compared to 'out' there. Regardless, he persists. The banging noise as he hits the window(s) continues, as well. So much so, that the kids have grown (mildly) concerned. "Mom, he's ruining the clean windows! He's leaving bird feathers and making marks every time he hits them!" (Yes, this is gross. And yes, my cleanliness 'issues' have warped them, too. I know.) And then, the slight terror: "Mo-ommm, he's going to hurt himself! He's banging reeeeeally hard!"

And yet, the bird and his banging continue. He flutters, flies, circles, and returns to hit the same few windows again and again. He, for some reason, wants 'in' to our home. He's persistent. He's petulant. And it's annoying us. But I think he's here to teach us a lesson. Because he doesn't seem to be going away.

His repetitive, not-getting-him-anywhere-and-mildly-damaging behavior got me thinking. While crazy to wonder why a bird would want 'in' to a place he clearly does not belong and in to an environment that would most certainly be detrimental to both his health (physical and mental --- if a bird has a mental health status?), it does not matter, he wants what he wants, and that is in. He must, in his mind, believe that in here, is somehow, better than out there, where he currently is.

As our aviary friend grew ever more persistent and the banging grew louder, I had to wonder: Are we (and our children) more like the bird than not?

There are many times I have banged my head, or maybe more accurately, my heart, against window after window trying to get 'in' to places or groups I desperately thought I needed to be. Just like the bird, the more the window held me back, the harder I banged, and the more persistent I became. (And the more tail feathers I lost, and in some cases, the bigger mess I made). Why did I, like the bird, feel the need to get 'in'? Why was the picture looking 'in' more attractive than the picture where I was already standing?

My guess is that we all have spent unnecessary time banging our heads (and hearts) on doors and windows which we felt we needed to get 'in' to. And I'll bet many (most) of you parents have watched your children bang their heads and, painfully, lose feather after feather trying to get 'in' to places or groups that, painfully, were not meant to be, yet your strong-willed baby bird, kept banging and banging and banging until he or she was battered and bruised. It's painful to watch when you're standing on the other side of the glass window ... especially when you see all the splatter marks and lost feathers. Yet your baby bird persists.

While the banging is unpleasant, maybe those doors and windows exist for a reason. Perhaps where we're standing is exactly where we need to be. And the same often goes for our children.

As I look outside I see the beauty of where the bird lives. I see the glorious colors. The lovely sunshine and fresh air (although admittedly the humidity is a killer for that poor bird's hair). Yet where we are is often where we don't want to be (and the same goes for our children, doesn't it?). Yet sometimes it's the best place to be. Sometimes right 'here ' is where we need to remain. There is beauty in recognizing 'in' is not a place. 'In' is a person, dear child. It's you. You are already 'in', my son/my daughter. All you need isn't inside a door or a window or a house or a group or a gang. It's inside YOU. You don't have to bang against a window anymore. No more lost feather tails. And no more goo on the windows.

I pray the bird learns he has already arrived. And I pray our children are persistent in finding who they are while realizing they have, in many ways, already arrived. They are already 'in' simply by being the individuals God created them to be.

Thanks for reading!

Warmly,

Lauri

Oh, and by the way, the Banging Bird is so disenchanted about not getting through the window that he has started perching and pooping on our mailbox. My 3-year old is very upset about this and has threatened to catch the birdie and put him on the Time Out Step. She is equally as persistent as the Banging Bird. For the bird's sake, I hope he does not get caught.

I'd love you to check out Willamena Picklepants and a Case of the No Good, Really Mean Words, available on Amazon.com and tell me what you and your kids think. We love to hear how Willamena is speaking to children (and adults). Thanks for sharing your stories with us ... it matters! YOU matter!