How Vulnerable Are You (really)?

We're all known for something, whether it's being a mom, dad, coach, where we work or how we live. And many of us spend a good bit of time trying to manage this public persona.

But what about being known by someone? I mean truly being known by someone (other than our children, spouse or significant other)?

Take a glance at the definition above one more time. Being vulnerable means allowing ourselves to be open enough to allow wounding and hurt to occur. It's hard. Really hard.

Vulnerability doesn't come easy for most of us. Being raised in a small, rural farming community, there was no time for vulnerability. It was all about getting the job done. Things were black and white, yes or no. The corn was planted or it wasn't. The livestock was fed or it wasn't. If the chores didn't get done, if the crops weren't prosperous, if the hail devastated the corn yield, our livelihood suffered. I learned a lot as I watched my parents grit their teeth and 'get through it,' which yes, served us all well - to a degree. But with so much black and white, there is not much room for vulnerability -- and that means we are less able handle discomfort, uncertainty, pain, and hardship.

And if I'm not good at being vulnerable, what am I teaching my children? If, as adults, we do not allow ourselves to truly 'be seen', we limit authentic connections with others. And as a result, what are our children learning? Or worse, not learning?

Brené Brown, researcher, professor, and author of the bestselling book, Daring Greatly, believes vulnerability is one of the most compelling - and important - leadership characteristics today. Why? Because it makes us appear human - relatable, and yes, trustworthy.

Here's the good news. People connect more with those who have weaknesses (and share them). And who doesn't? I know I do (just ask my children)!

We'll hear one mom's story about a painful choice her son made, and how she chose to be transparent and yes, vulnerable through it all. I'll share her story with you next week. It's powerful.

In Brown's words: "Learning how to be vulnerable has been a street fight for me, but it's been worth it."