Two Words (plus a few) Every Mom Needs to Hear
Let's face it. Sometimes moms need encouragement, too. So how about just two words? Two words can make all the difference in the moment of a mom. What would happen if you heard your child -- or better yet, your children -- uttering several of these 'two words'? Maybe you're lucky and you hear this list several times a day. However, if you're not-so-lucky, here's a thought. Print this blog, and tape it next to the snacks. I just printed my version and it has been successfully nailed, duct-taped, hot glue-gunned, drill-gunned, nerf-gunned, water-gunned, and framed on the pantry wall. I am hoping these 'two-words' will 'stick' in more than one way with my crew ... if you get my drift. Here's hoping you're encouraged!
"It's clean." As in: "My room, my hands, my face, my closet are clean." Oh, and yes ... even the back seat of the car, mom, where I was eating the snack-sized bags of Cheetos and Doritos (all seven of them) which made you quite nervous because you believe, with unhealthy certainty, that these flaky nuggets of orange-dyed, artificially-coated, cheesy, powdered chip-in-a-tortilla-and-cheese-puffed-bag-of-heaven, which permanently stain our skin, teeth, lips, tongue, and most everything we're wearing and definitely everything we touch. "It's clean, mom. It's clean. Really!"
(Now give me a moment to collect myself after re-living that traumatic memory of orange-stained fingerprints everywhere).
"I'll try." While these words are always music to any parent's ears, research has emerged regarding the life-long importance of these words, as well. Take a moment to google Carol Dweck's work on Growth Mindset versus Fixed Mindset. In short, a Growth Mindset says, "I'll try," ... even if and when it involves failing. A Fixed Mindset, on the other hand, is sensitive to being wrong. With a Fixed Mindset, failure causes doubt and loss in confidence. According to Dweck, developing a Growth Mindset is often more important than cognitive abilities or quality of instruction in achieving one's fullest potential and optimizing future success. There is more power in trying than we ever realized!
"I can." Yes, of course you can! What a delight when our children surprise us with an attitude of 'can'! (And again, this is closely related to developing a Growth Mindset).
"I'll help." WHAT? You will? Is this a trick?
"I believe." The unquestioning faith of a child is a marvel. Why must we lose it?
"I'm ready!" Mind blowing notion, but what if, just once, our offspring surprised us and were ready to zip out the door, complete with shoes on (and tied!), hair combed, teeth brushed, faces washed, and the bathroom already visited (not to mention cups filled, snacks packed (except not Cheetos or Doritos) five minutes PRIOR to scheduled departure time while our husbands happily loaded the dishwasher in the kitchen (rather than texting impatiently in the car on-the-verge-of-honking-but-knowing-if-he-honks-he-will-be-in-big-trouble) while you, moms, for once in your married life-with-children, took time to actually use your own bathroom before you rushed out the door, in lieu of holding it ... again?
"I will!" (Let's all agree not to drop down in shock if we hear this from our children, although inside we are secretly screaming, "WHAT? YOU WILL?!")
"Yes, ma'am."/ "Yes, sir." Nothing communicates respect and honor greater than these words (at least in the South, ya'll).
"It's delicious!" Two of the sweetest words a mom will ever hear - even if clearly feigned as one's child unsuccessfully attempts to suppress gagging noises while plugging her nose with one hand as she quite visibly struggles to swallow innocuous pieces of dinner down her little throat while crying. Hard.
"More, please." Actually, cancel the above. These two words trump the "It's delicious." If any child, adult, canine, feline, bird, plane, train, or automobile requests 'more' of any food I've cooked with my own hands - especially if it's charred - you're my new BFF.
"I'm finished!" As in, "I'm finished with my homework and it didn't require draping myself dramatically over three barstools with an unusual amount of tears, emotion, extended breaks, snacks, pencil changes, glue-sticks, construction paper, or parental intervention." Can you hear the choir singing?!
"Thank you." Gratitude feeds a momma's soul. Thank you for being thankful.
"It Mattered." As moms, we may rarely, if ever, hear these words while we breathe life. But if we do, we are blessed. One, day, though, I trust we will hear our sacrifices, our parenting, mattered. And if your children don't tell you, I will. It does matter, moms. It does. The work you do, day after day, every day, matters.
"I love you." Three words, not two, but the best three words you'll ever hear -- whether you're a mom or not.
Two words that encourage. What are yours?
I'd love you to check out Willamena Picklepants and a Case of the No Good, Really Mean Words, available on Amazon.com and tell me what you and your kids think. We love to hear how Willamena is speaking to children (and adults). Thanks for sharing your stories with us ... it matters! YOU matter!
