Guess what our 4-year taught our family? (through a book that keeps giving by the bucket-full ...)

The find-the-pajamas, brush-your-teeth, tuck-in bedtime routine has, admittedly, (and yes, sadly, I know) never been my husband's or my favorite part of the day. Maybe it's because we seem to be far more exhausted than they are. (Perhaps they should be tucking us in?) In particular, we seem to have an extra extended bedtime routine with our extroverted chatty-cathy 4-year old who seems to gain energy when she hears the words 'bed' and 'time.' It's fun to linger over toothpaste, finding time to ... oh let's see ... clean the bathroom sink with Clorax wipes and scrub down the walls with her cleaning set which she hasn't played with since 2016.

The other night, I deviated from normal tuck-in routine, asking our youngest two if they could choose one book and I would read it to both of them (yes, I was killing two birds with one stone I thought). Our son picked his favorite: How Full Is Your Bucket? (For those of you who have children, you are likely familiar with this book). Our 4-year old was not happy about the choice (too many words in the book for her liking), but after a few pages, she was hooked:

"Wait a MINUTE! ... You mean EVERYONE has a bucket over their head? EVERYONE?"

"Yes. Everyone," I tell her.

"But I don't feel my bucket! It's not there! (reaches up to her head ... reaching everywhere -- not finding anything over her head). Where is it? I can't feel it! I don't think I have one!" (still reaching and looking over my head and her brother's head, telling us she can't see our buckets, either).

"Is this a trick?" she asks (she has brothers, after all, - she is nobody's fool).

"Well our buckets are invisible," I tell her. "You feel them in your heart, when someone is kind to you and when you are kind to others.

"Oh, I get it. Like when I give you a flower, that fills up your bucket!

And when I won't go to bed at night, that drains water out of your bucket, right mom?" she asks.

"YES!" I reply! (especially about the water draining fast with the not going to bed at night part ... that one is a fast, fast leak).

"So you mean everyone has a bucket in the entire world? In the whole entire universe?"

"Yes," I say.

"And we put water in other people's buckets and we drain their buckets by the things we do?" she asks, making sure she got the bucket concept down pat.

"Yes. That's exactly how it works," I reply.

"OH MY GOSH! How can this be possible?" she squeals in amazement as she once again reaches for the invisible bucket hanging on her head. And then she flutters off to bed (after some random water running in the bathroom and water pouring on her head. Really).

Somehow all the stopping and summarizing and clarifying throughout the book, although taxing, (and frustrating for my 9-year old who wanted a quiet book-reading session alone with mom), was eye-opening, jolting, and quite timely for me. Stopping on nearly every page, repeating, in terms a 4-year old could understand, the essence of the book, forced me to think about its significance and whether or not I have been a bucket filler as of late - particularly for the little people that live under my roof. As my 4-year old continued to reach above her head throughout the book, I remembered all the times I've told her "Sweetie, sorry, I can't right now ..." or "I will later ..." I tend to be proficient as a clean-clothes hamper-filler, and a lunch-bag filler and a grocery cart filler, because, well - those are essential mom duties. But reading the book with my littlest while she reached for her invisible bucket made me realize just how lacking I am in my bucket-filling duties inside this house with all the invisible buckets over four heads of growing kids who have some pretty big buckets that need lots of filling.

Three days passed with no mention of the bucket book. I figured all would be forgotten - just like most books I read to the kids (and apparently most everything else I tell them). As we were eating our usual family dinner - which predictably, with guarantee, proves to be contentious to some degree - whether it's from my cooking due to too much pepper or the wrong flavor of Crystal Light in the pitcher or a fleck on the spoon or a speck on the plate - you get the picture. Anyway, as we were about to eat, one kid made a comment to the other kid that upset the third kid and the siblings went sideways. Out of the blue, our 4-year old paused, looked around the table, and said in a panicked voice to all of us, "OH NO! This family's bucket is being dumped and water is spilling everywhere!"

Let's just say the remainder of our dinner was the most peaceful one we've had yet.

May we remember that we all have invisible buckets hanging over our heads.

Thanks for reading.

xoxoxox